


I Love You, Tyler Joseph

by sundaze



Series: One Shots [4]
Category: Twenty One Pilots
Genre: M/M, i don't know what else to really put this as, joshler - Freeform, suicide TW
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-27
Updated: 2015-09-27
Packaged: 2018-04-23 16:45:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,780
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4884238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sundaze/pseuds/sundaze
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Josh and Tyler haven't talked in five years. Tyler was pretty sure Josh had forgotten about Tyler, but his theory was proven wrong when Josh shows up under Tyler's window one night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Love You, Tyler Joseph

**Author's Note:**

> suicide tw!!

Tyler wasn't a cool kid. He knew this. His family knew this. Everyone at school knew this. Tyler was almost positive the entire world knew he was not cool. 

He was rather content with being the uncool kid and he didn't mind being outcasted like he thought he would. He actually preferred to be alone at lunch and in all of his classes. He didn't mind coming home right after school and not having friends offer to go out or something. Yeah, he got lonely, but that's when Tyler resorted to his only friends: his siblings. 

As Tyler's graduation day slowly crept closer, Tyler started wondering what he'd be doing after graduation. He knew some people were throwing parties or going out to eat; but Tyler didn't have plans. He'd most likely come home, change into sweat pants and watch some X Files until he fell asleep, just like most other nights. 

Tyler was okay with this. He's spent most of his life this way.

*

Tyler had met Josh when Josh first moved into the house besides Tyler's 10 years ago, when the two boys were seven years old. Because of their closeness in age, their parents had made them play in the yard together so they would have a friend. They didn't mind though. They liked each other and as they got older, they started going to each other's houses unannounced to ask to do something with the other child.

Josh was homeschooled, which kinda sucked for Tyler because he wouldn't have at least one person in a class to sit with and converse before class begun. But, Tyler quickly moved on and continued their friendship despite Josh's schooling.

Between the summer of eighth grade and ninth grade, the two boys had started to lose contact since Tyler was talking more advance classes and he was drowning in work all that summer. And the school year work didn't change that much from the summer work. Josh would knock on the Joseph's door, ask Tyler's mother if Tyler could go skateboarding and her reply would be that he is busy with homework or studying.

Eventually, Josh stopped asking for Tyler. Tyler had noticed, but he knew that he didn't have time to talk to Josh about it. He had to focus on school. 

Although Tyler wasn't distraught over the quick decline of their friendship, Josh was. Every time Josh would ask if Tyler could come out and he'd get a 'no', he swore he felt his heart drop a little more and more each time. His heart dropped until it was at the bottom of his torso and couldn't sink any lower. This is when he gave up asking. 

Josh wasn't sure why he felt so sad whenever Tyler couldn't hang out. Maybe because Tyler was his only friend. Maybe because Josh knew that they probably wouldn't ever hang out ever again, because he knew Tyler's plans after high school were to go to Harvard in Massachusetts. Maybe because Josh was in love with Tyler. 

*

It was a week before Tyler graduated and the anxieties were flowing through his veins. He felt each drop of adrenaline moving through his body as it went out to his fingertips and toes. He wasn't so sure why he was so nervous. He had already passed all his classes and exams, gotten his final grades, and got an acceptance letter from Harvard, which was laying neatly in the corner of his desk. 

Tyler had hoped it was only the nerves that come along with excitement. In just a couple of months, he'll be on a plane and moving into his own dorm in his dream college. He'd finally be out of Ohio. He'd be in Boston, a city 900 miles away from his small town, something Tyler always wanted. He would be in a whole new world with people's he's never met before and things he's never experienced before.

That's it. It had to be excitement. 

Tyler laid on his bed with his laptop placed by his side. He was almost through his fourth episode of Criminal Minds. The warm May air filtered through the screen in Tyler's window, gently blowing into his back. This was Tyler's normal Sunday. 

When the episode was over, Tyler willed himself to finally try to get some sleep. Tyler looked at the clock and sighed when he saw it was almost 1 am. He pulled the blankets back from his bed, and crawled inside the warm and safe captivity of his bed.

Not even ten minutes later, Tyler heard a slight pinging against the side of his house. He didn't know where it was coming from or why it was happening, but Tyler decided to ignore it. 

Except it didn't stop. Minutes went by and the dinging continued to happen at a semi-regular pace. Tyler turned his bedside lamp on and looked out his window. 

Josh stood a story down right below Tyler's window, holding a bag filled with something. Josh smiled and waved up at Tyler when he appeared in the window, throwing one last thing up and hitting Tyler's window sill.

Tyler opened the window screen and leaned out the window. "What are you doing?" Tyler asked in a whisper yell. "It's one in the morning. My parents are asleep in the room next to me."

"Can you come outside? Please?" Josh begged, his smile never leaving is face. "I want to see you."

"Can't this wait until tomorrow when I get out of school?"

"It can't. Please, just trust me." Josh persuaded. 

Tyler bit his lip and stared at the familiar face of Josh Dun. These was the first words they have spoken to each other in almost five years. Why did Josh need to see Tyler at one in the morning when they haven't spoken in half a decade?

Tyler complied and shut his window. He slid out of his bedroom and down the hallways until he got to the stairs. Very quietly, Tyler went down one step at a time until he reached the first floor of the house. Quietly, he opened the front door, made his way out and shut the door again. 

Tyler met Josh in the middle of Tyler's front lawn. From down here, Tyler got a better view of Josh. He wore long sleeved black shirt, jeans and a SnapBack covering his dyed pink hair. 

"Hey." Josh smiled, looking Tyler up and down.

"Hi." Tyler folded his arms across his chest and watched as Josh slightly swayed. 

"Can you hang out?"

"Right now?" Tyler asked, using his index finger to point to the grass they stood upon. Josh nodded. "No, I can't. I have to sleep because I have school tomorrow-"

"Please, Tyler." Josh pleaded. "You have a week of school left and then you will be done with high school forever. Just spend this night with me doing something you won't forget." 

Tyler hesitated and shook his head. "I can't, Josh."

This time, Josh's smile did leave his face. "I understand. Sorry to disturb you, Tyler. Goodnight." And with that, Josh turned to leave. 

Tyler watched as he slowly walked across the yard entering into his own yard, his head turned down towards the ground. Tyler sighed and called after Josh. 

Josh turned around to look at Tyler. "What would we be doing?"

Josh smiled and quickly made his way back over to his former friend. "It's a surprise."

Tyler smiled and rolled his eyes. "So you want me to follow you to God knows where in the middle of the night on a Sunday night or an early Monday morning?"

"Precisely."

Tyler bit his lip again and sucked in a breath. "Alright, I guess."

Josh smiled wide and nodded. "You might want to change." Josh added, pointing toward Tyler's shoeless feet.

Tyler nodded and quickly went back to his room. He returned a few minutes later in a hoodie and pair of jeans with plain converse on his feet. 

* 

"So where are we going exactly?" Tyler asked when Josh had told him that it was just down the street.

"I told you," Josh giggled, standing about three feet to the side of Tyler. "It's a surprise."

Tyler rolled his eyes and looked at Josh, who was staring at Tyler. "How are you?"

Tyler shrugged and looked away from Josh again. "I'm good. Great, actually. I got into Harvard and I leave for school August 28th. Classes start August 31st."

"I'm so happy for you, Ty." Josh commented. Tyler laughed a little bit at the old nickname. "What's so funny?" Josh asked through his own small laughter.

Tyler shook his head. "No one has called me Ty since I was fourteen."

"I think it's a cute nick name." Josh commented. "Do you remember what your nickname was for me?"

Tyler paused and thought for a second. He knew it was something strange, something only he'd be able to come up with. Josh had also rolled his eyes every time Tyler would call him by the ridiculous nickname. 

"Jishwa!" Tyler suddenly called out, giving himself a mental pat on the back for remembering the name.

Josh laughed and nodded. "Yeah. That was such a weird name."

"I remember I only called you Jishwa for like two months right after I made it up and I one time asked your mom if 'Jishwa' was home." Tyler admitted, trying not to laugh at his own mistake.

This sent Josh into a hard laughter. A real laugh. It was one of Tyler's favorite sounds and memories from when they were younger. Tyler hadn't realized how much he missed it until now.

Soon enough, the pair were at the entrance of the park by their houses. The gate was closed everyday after the sun had set and trespassers were not welcome.

"What are we doing here?" Tyler asked, staring up at the tall gate. He hasn't been in the park since he was 13.

"Going in." Josh simply replied, walking towards one end of the gate.

"What?" Tyler exclaimed, trying to keep his voice low since they were still in a neighborhood.

Josh turned to look at Tyler. "It's fine, dude." Josh laughed, continuing to walk to the other side of the fence. "I've done this a million times before and I've never been caught."

"Well, a million and one could be your lucky number." Tyler warned, following close behind Josh so he wouldn't have to talk much louder than his inside voice. "I'm not going in there. Why do you need to go in there at one thirty in the morning?"

Josh chuckled and got to the end of the fence which was blocked from civilization from trees and bushes. "Because it's fun to be bad sometimes." Josh slid through a small opening in the fence and he was in. As easy as that.

"I can't go in. If I get caught it might risk me going to Harvard."

"Come on, Ty. I promise we won't get caught."

Tyler shook his head. "I can't risk it, Josh." 

"We'll only be here, like, two hours at most."

"No no no. That's two hours too many."

"Please Tyler." Josh begged, holding Tyler's hand through the fence. "Don't you want to experience what real 17 year old kids do? Don't you want to feel like you're doing something wrong for once in your life?"

Tyler paused and thought for a minute. He did want that. He wanted to feel like he could get caught any moment. He wanted to feel the rush of breaking the law, no matter how small. He wanted to feel out of his body, his mind else where. 

"I-I can't..." He stammered out. He wanted it all, but he knew what he needed. 

Josh nodded and dropped Tyler's hand. "I get it. Thank you for escorting me." Josh turned around and started walking away from the fence. 

Tyler watched Josh's figure move further and further away as he took steps from where he once stood. Tyler knew he had made the right decision not going in. 

Tyler watched as Josh got further and further away from him. Tyler sighed and quickly followed after Josh. He slid through the fence and ran up to him

*

Josh led Tyler to the small skating area where Tyler and Josh had spent most of their summers at. Tyler wasn't much of a skateboarder, but Josh was. And he was good at it. Tyler would sit on the bench and just watch Josh shred for endless amounts of time. Tyler had always wished he could do some of the stuff Josh could do. But he was always too scared of hurting himself.

Josh left Tyler's side and went behind a tree, returning seconds later with a board in his hand. Josh wasted no time between getting the board and skating down the bowl and around the dent in the ground filled with cement. Tyler watched with enticement as Josh did laps around. He knew he'd never be able to do that without falling. 

Josh came back up besides Tyler and smiled at him. Josh was out of breath and panting slightly as he held the board out to Tyler.

"What? Why are you handing me this?" Tyler asked, taking it from Josh's grasp.

"It's your turn." Josh answered, going behind the tree once more and coming back with a helmet, which he gently placed on Tyler's head.

"Hell no." Tyler exclaimed, trying to shove the board back into Josh's possession. 

"Please? I know you always wanted to try and this is your chance. No one is around to see you if you fall and tease you."

"Josh," Tyler interjected. "I thought we were going to have fun tonight? Not die."

Josh laughed and shook his head. "You won't die. I promise."

"I'm scared." Tyler admitted, looking down into the bowl. Tyler felt panic rising in his stomach.

"Hey, look at me." Josh said, his voice quiet and husky. Tyler turned his head to look at Josh, who was squat down a little bit to look right into Tyler's eyes. His hands were holding onto Tyler's biceps with a firm grip. Their faces were inches apart. "Don't be afraid. I'm right here. I would never let anything hurt you, Ty. The last thing I want is for you to be in pain."

"I don't want to fall." Tyler said, his voice at the same level as Josh's. 

"You're going to have to fall to get back up and redeem yourself."

Tyler sighed and look back into the cement hole in the ground. "I will be right here to come get you when you fall down, Ty."

Finally, Tyler nodded and took the board back from Josh and set on the ground. Josh stepped back from Tyler. "I won't move from this spot." Josh said as Tyler got onto the skateboard. 

Tyler nodded slightly, took a deep breath and pushed himself forwards, and then down the side of the bowl. He immediately fell, hitting his head against the cement, and rolling down to the bottom of the structure.

He laid there for a second before Josh had him sitting up and taking the helmet off of his head and checking for any sort of injury.

Tyler bit his lip and angrily wiped at his eyes. Why was he crying? He barely hurt himself, maybe a little road rash on his leg but not much more than that. 

"Hey, hey." Josh cooed, tilting Tyler's head up to look at his face. "You're alright, okay? Your head is fine and you ripped you're jeans by your knee. Your knee is a little scratched up but besides that you're fine."

Tyler nodded and looked away from Josh and sucked in a deep breath. "I'm sorry for forcing you to do that, Tyler. I shouldn't have pressured you into doing that-... are you laughing?"

Tyler bit his lip, trying to suppress a giggle fit. "I'm so stupid." Tyler laughed. "I'm crying because I scraped my knee going down on a skateboard. What am I? Seven?"

Josh cracked a smile as Tyler laid on his back and laughed at his own pain. Eventually Josh's started laughing too and they were thrown into a laughing fit. They both laid in their backs laughing at the other one laughing. 

Once they were done, Tyler had his hands over his stomach, trying to catch his breath. "I'm never doing that again." Tyler states after they had finally calmed down. 

"I told you I would come to your rescue." Josh answered, looking over at his exhausted friend. 

"I didn't doubt you, Dun."

*  
Tyler and Josh had left soon after Tyler's fall. Josh returned Tyler to his house at 15 minutes to 3 am. Tyler had thanked Josh for a great night and they parted ways, going to their own houses. 

The next night, at 12:30 am, Tyler heard the same pinging noise against the house as he did the previous night. Sure enough, when Tyler looked out his window, there stood Joshua Dun. 

Tyler opened his window and leaned out of it again. "Where are you whisking me off to tonight, Mr. Dun?"

Josh laughed at this. Tyler swore his smile could light up a whole neighborhood of houses. "It's another surprise, my dear Tyler."

Tyler laughed and rolled his eyes as he shut the window. Tyler changed his clothes and hurried downstairs, where they met in Tyler's front lawn again. 

They hadn't said another word to each other before Josh said, "We need to use your car to get to where we're going tonight."

"Wha- why?" Tyler asked. "Why can't we just go somewhere close?"

"Because I want to go to this place really bad and my car is nonexistent. I promise it won't be for long and it's not too far away. It's like 20 minutes away."

"Is it in Columbus?" Tyler asked.

Josh nodded. "Right in the heart of Columbus."

Tyler sighed and turned back to get his keys. When he came back out, Josh was already standing by the passenger door. Tyler giggled to himself and unlocked the door. The two got into the car.

Tyler started the car and pulled out of the drive way and headed towards 750 East. Josh started going through Tyler's CD collection. He flipped through numbers of CDs when suddenly he started laughing hysterically.

"What are you laughing at?" Tyler asked through hiccups of his own laughter. 

Josh sucked in a deep breath and held up the *NSYNC cd that was tucked away in the CD case. When Tyler saw what it was, he demanded josh put it in the player; he complied. The two drove down the highway at 12:45 am blasting NSYNC, just like any normal teenagers.

It didn't take long for them to get to the city. Josh directed Tyler to the place he wanted to go to. The city streets were practically dead, aside from the few homeless people camped out underneath store awnings. Tyler wished he could have given them a home. 

Tyler parked in front of one of the tallest buildings in the city. It loomed probably 60 stories above them and well above its surrounding buildings. Josh rang a buzzer and the door unlocked. Wearily, Tyler followed Josh into the building. 

Tyler assumed it was an apartment building when he saw the huge wall of mailboxes. Some of them were labeled with names and others weren't. Josh pressed the elevator button and it was there within seconds. 

The two began their incline inside the walls of the building. The ride seemed to take forever as they stood in the small cab with a classic rock song playing. Tyler watched Josh's eyes stay glued to the numbers that were lighting up above the elevator door, signifying which floor they were passing. The light was dim in the elevator, but Josh's eyes still glimmered and sparkled. Tyler hypothesized they did that naturally. 

The elevator stopped on the very top floor. Josh let Tyler off the elevator first and then guided him to some stairs. There were about seven flights of steps before they reached a door, which Josh punched a few numbers into a keypad to open up. 

The door opened to a wide open roof top that overlooked the whole city. From there, Tyler could see the bridges that crossed over the Scioto River. He could see the statehouse, the park his grandparents took him to on day trips. He could see everything. 

"Holy shit." Tyler whispered under his breath, his smile hurting his face. He turned to Josh who was smiling just as much as he was. "This is incredible."

"This is one of my favorite places to go." Josh stated, wandering to the edge of the building. "I usually get a bus here and then I get one home. But driving here was much more efficient."

"How did you discover this?" Tyler questioned, still in awe of the city lights. 

"I don't really remember how I found it. I just remember coming here a lot when I figured out the bus system. It's kind of like a secret spot."

Tyler sat on the edge of the building and looked down. If he fell, he would without a doubt be falling to his death. He felt Josh grab his wrist as Tyler leaned over the edge. 

"I have never showed this to anyone." Josh stated, his thumb running over the bones near Tyler's knuckles. 

Tyler felt his face warm and his smile softened a little bit. "Why are you telling me?"

"Because I feel like you deserve to know."

Tyler looked at Josh, his brow furrowed. "Why? I ignored you for five years."

Josh chuckled to himself and looked out over the city. "You're the only one who talked to me for seven years prior to that."

Tyler smiled a little and had to fight back the urge of tackling Josh in a hug since they were on a ledge if a high building. So, he settled on holding Josh's hand in his own. 

*

It was Wednesday night into Thursday morning the next time Josh threw pebbles at Tyler's windows. Tyler didn't even bother to open the window. He immediately went downstairs and met Josh by the front yard bushes. Josh smiled when he saw Tyler and wrapped him in a hug, which Tyler reciprocated. 

"Where are we off to tonight?" Tyler smiled, resisting from holding Josh's hand. 

"The lake." Josh smiled, walking towards Tyler's car. 

Tyler didn't hesitate on getting in the car and driving toward the lake. It wasn't very far from their houses. Even if it was, Tyler would probably drive there just to see Josh smile. 

They get to the lake not even fifteen minutes later. Josh quickly gets out and opens Tyler's door for him, shutting it once Tyler is out of the way. The lake is still and the moon is full, shining a bright light onto the lake which reflects it back almost perfectly. 

Josh ran towards the dock, stripping his shirt off his body, tossing it to the side. He stopped, ripped his shoes and socks off and ran again, jumping into the lake at the end of the dock.

Tyler laughed and walked to the edge of the dock, sat down and dipped his bare feet into the water. Josh smiled more watching Tyler slowly make his way into the water, body part by body part. Josh swam towards Tyler and took hold of Tyler's feet and pushed them around in the water.

Tyler giggled as Josh gently pulled on Tyler's feet until he took Josh's lead, yanked his shirt off of his body and discarded it before he slipped into the water. Tyler laughed as the bitterly cold water nipped at his vulnerable skin.

"Once you go under its not as bad." Josh suggested. 

"The hard part is just getting to go under." Tyler giggled and rubbed his biceps, hoping to warm them up.

John smiled more and held both of Tyler's shaking hands. "On the count of three, we'll both go under the water at the same time, okay?"

Tyler nodded and squeezed Josh's hands. "1... 2... 3." Josh quickly disappeared under the water, Tyler not following far behind. 

Tyler's head broke through the water's surface first, letting out a little shriek from the sudden shock of cold. Josh soon came up too, laughing. 

Tyler splashed Josh, laughing as well. "This water is so cold, Jish." Tyler scolded, his teeth chattering. "You're such a bad influence."

Josh rolled his eyes and moved hair out of Tyler's face. Tyler smiled and watched Josh get closer, putting his hands around Tyler's exposed waist below the water. 

Tyler's breath hitched when Josh's cold, wet hand touched his neck, but he smiled more and rested his fingers against Josh's throat and jawline. Tyler smiled when he saw the moonlight reflecting off of Josh's deep brown eyes, making that natural sparkle more noticeable.

Tyler knew exactly what was going to happen next. Their lips connected, slowly falling into a steady, rhythmic pace. Tyler wasn't exactly sure what to do with his hands, so he laced them around Josh's neck, and Josh did that around Tyler's waist, pulling the smaller boy closer to himself. 

Josh parted his mouth slightly and ran his tongue along the shape of Tyler's lower lip. Tyler follows his lead and slowly opens his mouth a little bit, nervously. 

Josh separates his locked fingers and moves his hands to Tyler's waist, and gently squeezes his sides; Tyler takes this as him saying to calm down and relax without using his words. That's what Tyler does. He lets his body press up against Josh's and he separates his lips a little more, which is when Josh takes the opportunity to slip his tongue into Tyler's mouth.

Tyler slides his hands to Josh's neck and gently squeezes as Josh's tongue explores the foreign areas of Tyler's mouth. Josh digs his thumbs into Tyler's lower back, moving them in small circles.

Tyler smiles a little bit into the kiss and pulls away from Josh and opens his eyes which he doesn't t even remember closing. Josh is smiling like a fool and he presses his forehead to Tyler's. 

"I've wanted to do that for so long, Tyler." Josh whispers, his breath tickling Tyler's slightly numbed lips.

Tyler smiles and presses his lips into Josh's again. Josh swears he feels his heart skip a beat or three. 

*

On Thursday night/Friday morning, Tyler waited on his front steps for Josh to come and bring him somewhere magical.

Tyler keeps replaying the moment of their first kiss in the lake in his mind. That night, when he tried to fall asleep, he could still feel Josh's lips against his own. A couple of times, he thought Josh was really there. 

Josh wanders into Tyler's yard around 1:15 am. Tyler got to his feet and went over to Josh and wrapped his arms around Josh. He was warm and smelled like lemons. He felt like home. 

Once Tyler pulled away, Josh smiled and kissed Tyler's cheek. "We have to go to Walmart."

Tyler nodded and headed towards the car. "Hang on," Josh grabbed Tyler's hand and pulled him back up against Josh's chest. Josh put his hands on Tyler's waist and looked into Tyler's eyes where he saw millions of tiny stars and hundreds of galaxies. "Let's walk." Josh suggested, letting the other boy go and the grabbing both of his hands. 

"Alright," Tyler agreed. "I don't have a lot of money for gas anyway."

Josh smiled and leads Tyler down the road. "You're coming to graduation, right?" Tyler asked, wrapping his arms around Josh's single left arm.

Josh's didn't answer for a moment, he just looked at Tyler and smiled at the sight of him. "I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Tyler giggled and looked up at the sky. "This summer is going to be the best. We can spend like a whole bunch of time together. Time that's not just in the middle of the night. Time where other humans can see us and see what we have."

Josh scoffed, trying to cover a small giggle. Josh suddenly wrapped his arms around Tyler's waist and picked him up off of the ground, swaying from side to side as he kept on walking. Tyler's laugh rang through Josh's ears and sent chills all the way through his body. 

The walk to Walmart was a little long and chilly, but they were some of the only people there at the early hour if 2:00 am. Josh helped Tyler down from the piggy back ride Tyler had demanded 15 minutes into the walk.

This Walmart, like most other Walmarts in Ohio, was massive. It had probably everything anyone could ever need on a whim. It had single served things to gigantic, industrial, End of All Times sized boxes. 

"What do you need here?" Tyler asked, following Josh down the empty aisle towards the food section. 

"Some things." Josh took a quick right down the aisle that had all the candy. Josh sauntered off the the end of the aisle while Tyler picked up a bag of skittles and opened it since he had planned on buying them. He dumped some into his hands and made his way back over to Josh who was looking at the ice cream toppings.

"I hope you are buying those, sir." Josh said in a fake deep voice and stealing a small ovular candy from Tyler's Palm.

Tyler pushed him gently and looked at the shelf filled with sprinkles, cherries, and different flavored sauces. "What are you getting that for?" Tyler asked as Josh removed a can of whipped cream from the shelf.

"This." Josh ripped off the lid and squirted Tyler in the face with the cream.

Tyler's mouth hung slack as his vision was blurred from a light and airy dessert. Josh began doubling over laughing, watching Tyler wipe the white goop from his face.

"You asshole!" Tyler yelled through bouts of laughter. Tyler grabbed a can of maraschino cherries and began pegging them at Josh when the container was opened.

Josh laughed harder at this and decided to double up in his sugary weaponry. He grabbed a bottle of chocolate sauce and started spraying Tyler with the almost liquid sugar. 

Tyler knocked the chocolate bottle out of Josh's hands and scrambled to the floor for it, which he successfully got and started pouring on top of Josh's head. Josh's sight was blinded by melted chocolate, and he stepped in a patch of whipped cream and fell to the floor.

By this point, Tyler's laugh was echoing though the whole store. He put his weapons down, chose the rainbow sprinkles from the shelf and dumped them on Josh's face. Topping it all off, Tyler picked up a cherry off the floor and placed it on Josh's nose.

Josh breathed in heavily and wiped the sticky syrup from his eyes and glared up at Tyler. Tyler laughed and put his hand on his jaw and touched their lips together, the taste of chocolate along his tongue. Tyler didn't want that moment to end.

*

Tyler knew that he shouldn't be going out with Josh 12 hours before graduation, but he couldn't control himself. He sat waiting in his grass for Josh to come. He didn't appear until almost 3 am, which is really late for him.

Tyler rushed over to Josh and hugged him tightly, his worries of Josh not being alright quickly leaving his body. 

"I was scared you weren't going to show up." Tyler mumbled, shoving his face into Josh's chest.

"I wouldn't blow you off like that, Ty." Josh said gently, running his fingers up and down Tyler's spine. 

Tyler looked up at Josh and beamed. "I know you wouldn't."

"Listen," Josh started, making Tyler's stomach turn upside down. He seemed irritated or worried by something. "We're not going to go out tonight."

"Oh." Tyler thought he heard his heart shatter. "We can still spend time together right?"

Josh nodded. "I actually have something in mind."

Tyler's smile returned to his face. "Anything."

Josh went back into his house and returned with a cordless CD player. He grabbed Tyler's hand and brought him out the the center of the street. Josh put the player right by their feet and pressed the play button. 

The song "I Will Follow You Into the Dark" by Death Cab for Cutie filled the air surrounding them.

Tyler's smile grew as Josh held his hand out. "Can I have this dance?" Josh asked, a small smile laying underneath his nose.

Tyler nodded and took his hand. Josh move his hans to Tyler's waist and Tyler wrapped his arms around Josh's neck. They swayed slowly in the middle of the road as the song carried on. 

"I can't wait for this summer." Tyler whispered, resting his head on Josh's chest. "I hope we can spend a lot of time together."

Josh didn't answer. "I'm going to miss you when you go to Harvard." Josh admitted after a prolonged silence.

Tyler frowned a little bit and adjusted his arms. "I know. It'll suck a lot but I think we can make it work."

Josh nodded and pulled Tyler closer to him. "I know we can make it work. Everything will be alright." 

"Promise?" Tyler asked, looking up into Josh's star filled eyes.

Josh grinned and pressed his mouth against Tyler's, which Tyler took as a yes.

The two swayed in silence for a moment. "I think I'm in love with you." Josh whispered, his voice shaky.

Tyler furrowed his eyebrow and looked up at josh. "What's wrong?"

Josh shook his head and breathed in deeply. "I'm just... I'm in love with you, Tyler Joseph."

Tyler smiled and bit his lip. "I'm in love with you too, Joshua Dun."

The song had soon ended and Josh ordered Tyler to go to bed, saying that he had to be up early the next morning and needed to rest. 

"I have something to give you." Josh told Tyler as he walked up his front steps. Tyler turned to Josh and smiled as Josh took out silver chained necklace out of his pocket. The necklace had a heart charm hanging from it.

"Josh," Tyler gasped as Josh put the chain around his neck. "Where did you get this?"

"I may have stolen it from Walmart while we were being escorted out, I may not have. It's what you want to believe." Josh smiled, turning Tyler back around to face him. 

Tyler laughed and pressed their lips together. This kiss seemed to last for eternity, and Tyler wished it had.

*

If Tyler had known that would be the last time he saw Josh, he would have done everything different. He would have been persistent on making Josh tell him what was wrong. He would have refused to go to bed when Josh had told him to. He would have done anything to keep josh here. 

When Tyler had crossed the stage, he looked out in the swarm of parents and family and friends for his pink haired boyfriend, but he wasn't anywhere to be found.

Once he got off stage and his family was done littering him in kisses and hugs, he went to the bathroom and called Josh's phone. There was no answer. Tyler stomach twisted up in knots. 

As Tyler arrived home after graduation, he saw cop cars and ambulances parked outside the Dun household. In that moment, Tyler knew something wasn't right.

Tyler didn't even bother pulling into his driveway; he parked the car on the side of the street, jumped out of the car leaving the car still running and dashed over to the scene. He pushed past other surrounding neighbors to find his Mother or his sister or brother or anyone who would know what might have happened. 

He saw no one. He turned to a woman with blonde hair besides him and asked what had happened.

"I'm not positive," The woman began, her eyes glued to the door of the house."but I think someone killed themselves."

That's when four EMTs came out of the house with a body covered on a stretcher, and Tyler just knew. 

Tyler shook his head and his eyes burned with threatening tears. "No no no. No," Tyler repeated as the tears spilled over and he fell to the ground. People tried to help him up and make sure he was alright, but every time someone offered a hand, Tyler would snap at them and begin to cry more. 

This wasn't happening.

It's not real.

Tyler is dreaming. That's all this is: a dream.

"Tyler," he heard someone calling his name from behind him. He knew it was Zack's. He felt a hand touch his shoulder and try to help him up.

"W-wake me up, Z-Zack. Please, wake m-me up..." Tyler sobbed as he was ushered out of the crowd by his older brother. 

"You are awake, Ty. It's alright." Zack shushed Tyler, rubbing his back gently. 

Tyler shook his head and turned to face Zack. He buried his face into his brothers shoulder and let out the most heartbreaking sob. 

How could he say everything was alright? Nothing was alright. Josh was gone. 

*

{Eight Months Later}

Tyler sat in front of his piano like he had done most days since his therapist suggested taking his pain out in writing. He found that this works pretty well. It took him a few months to finally get good at it and soon enough, he started doing it whenever he had a free second. 

After Josh had died, he spent almost a whole month in his bed. The only times he ate was when his mother had threatened to bring him to see a therapist. Tyler was against the idea back then, thinking that nothing would ever help him mend his hurt so there was no point in trying to even attempt to fix it. 

But when he had finally bit the bullet and started seeing Dr. Johnson every Sunday, he realized that maybe he could feel better. Not anytime soon, but with some time. 

Tyler didn't wait long on deciding to take a year off from school. He knew he wouldn't be able to handle being that far from anyone he knew. Harvard called almost everyday after classes begun on August 31st, asking if Tyler was going to be showing up any time soon or if he was coming at all. Tyler didn't want to answer. He didn't want to talk to anyone and explain why he wasn't going this year. 

Tyler crossed out a line in a new song he was working on and rewrote it. Tyler had torn out pages scattered around his room and he had three notebooks filled with lyrics stacked on top of his piano. The one he was currently working on, however, was his favorite he's ever written. 

Tyler sucked in a deep breath and played with the heart necklace that Josh had stolen-- bought, from Walmart two nights before everything came crashing down. It was never revealed or discovered why Josh had done it. His parents said they weren't seeing any warning signs or odd behaviors from Josh's.

But Tyler knew what he was doing. He was, what Dr. Johnson called, wearing a mask. Wearing a mask meant that a person is hiding what's really going on in their life by pretending everything is alright on the surface and they use something or someone to cover up those negative feelings. It was a fairly basic concept and a lot of people do this, especially when dealing with depression.

Everyone's mask is different. Josh's was Tyler. He used Tyler to bring happiness into his life, to cover up his sadness. So when Tyler was away, Josh wasn't happy. He dealt with demons. 

Tyler's mask was writing. Although he was getting better, he still had days where he wished Josh was by his side. But, when Tyler was writing, he forgot the world. So Tyler's parents had bought him a cheap piano to make the words he wrote into actual songs. 

Tyler's mother knocked on his door. "Hey, mom." Tyler spoke, turning back to his open notebook.

"Are you busy?" She asked, stepping into his room and leaning against the piano. 

"A little bit, but I can show you what I have so far." Tyler offered, looking up at his mother.

She smiled and nodded. Tyler rested his hands above the first set of notes and began playing. 

"I wanna fall inside your ghost, and fill up every hole inside my mind. And I want everyone to know, that I am half a soul divided."

"Sometimes we will die and sometimes, we will fly away. Either way you're by my side until my dying days. And if I'm not there and I'm far away, I said, 'Don't be afraid.' I said, 'Don't be afraid. We're going home.'" 

Tyler played the next piano part until he stopped because that was all he had gotten down. His mom stood over him, smiling. Tyler though he had seen a tear in her eye, but he didn't mention it. 

"That was beautiful, Ty." She complimented, walking over to her son and kissing his head.

After a moment, she spoke up again. "They finally cleaned out his room." 

Tyler bit his lip and looked down. "When are they leaving?" Tyler asked, wiping some dust off of one of the keys. 

The Dun family had decided that it was time to move on and start fresh somewhere new. 

"They're leaving next Saturday. They found this, though, under his pillow." His mother handed Tyler a white envelope with his name scribbled across the front.

Tyler sat there with the paper in his shaking hands. "I'll leave you alone." His mother whispered, kissing the top of his head and exiting the room. 

Tyler moved onto his bed and stared at the envelope some more. In his hands, he held the last words Josh will ever speak to Tyler, technically. 

Carefully, Tyler opened the envelope and pulled out the folded sheet of paper inside.

'Tyler,

The only reason why I believe God is real is because he brought you into my life. He told my parents to move from Orlando, Florida to Powell, Ohio and to move into 3842 Flagstaff Avenue. He knew that bringing you into my life would make everything better.

I can't thank you enough times for giving me the best last week of my life. Thank you for sneaking out of your house that Sunday night and breaking into the park to go skateboarding with me. Thank you for giving me my final time at my favorite place in Columbus and being there with me to see it. Thank you for swimming in that lake with me and not kicking me in the balls wen I kissed you. Thank you for terrorizing Walmart with me. Thank you for giving me a final dance. Thank you for loving me.

I know this is hard. I know. I'm sorry it has to be this way. I needed to see you and feel you and be with you a few more times to remind myself of what being a stupid little eleven year old with a huge crush on his neighbor felt like. (PS, it's the best feeling in the world.)

I am sorry that I did this. I wasn't expecting to fall in love with you all over again that final week. And I sure as hell wasn't expecting you to love me back. I hope that you're not too mad at me and you can forgive me someday. I hope you know I meant what I said when I told you I loved you in the street that final night. 

I love you like the sun loves the moon like babies love their pacifiers, like the night sky loves the stars as they dance across and shine bright, brining happiness to the people down below. I love you. I love you. I love you.

I love you, Tyler Joseph.

-Jishwa'

*

Tyler laid in bed that night, thinking about all the things Josh had said. When Tyler looked out his bedroom window, he believed that he was the stars shining in the sky, and Josh was darkness giving them somewhere to shine. 

But that was probably because he was sleep deprived.

But, when he heard that pining noise, like pebbles against his window sill, he knew his sleep deprived ears weren't mishearing that. 

He looked out the window. No one was there. Tyler didn't know what he was hoping for when he looked out the window. He was just, hoping. 

As he went to go lay back down, he saw something. He looked again and saw Josh's skateboard right below his window.

Tyler quickly rushed out of the house and into the cold January air. He put his jacket on over his old t shirt and he went to the skateboard. Tyler picked up the board and headed towards the park with it in hand.

Slipping through the hole in the fence and running towards the park, Tyler's face was getting numb from the cold air whipping against his skin, but he ignored it.

Now, Tyler stood above the skateboarding bowl. His helmet strapped onto his head. He pushed himself forward and towards the edge. Of course, he fell. He laid on the ground and thought 'What am I doing?'

Josh was never going to see him finally go down the side of the cement successfully. He knew that. But something in his brain told him to keep trying.

And that's exactly what Tyler did. He got up, went back to the top and tried again; falling down every time.

The sun began to peak over the horizon and Tyler's eyes were drooping, but he refused to stop. Tyler wiped blood from his cheek from when he face planted and scratched his cheek up. 

Taking a big breath, Tyler pushed himself forward, and he went down the side of the bowl and made it to the bottom without falling on his ass.

Tyler hopped off the skateboard and jumped around, victoriously. He ran around inside the skateboard bowl hollering and cheering. He just wish Josh had saw it. 

Out of the corner of his eye, Tyler saw a flash of pink move out of Tyler's sight. Tyler smiled and hugged the skateboard to his chest. He wasn't afraid anymore.

**Author's Note:**

> this is probably one of my best things I've ever written and I'm really happy with it. 
> 
> I also wrote this in one sitting which I am happy about/ashamed because I honestly didn't move for about 8 hours. my life is so sad.
> 
> the song Tyler wrote was from Taxi Cab by Twenty One Pilots.
> 
> I hope you enjoy it. Feedback and stuff is cool


End file.
